My Health & Fitness Journey started in 2015. Before this, I grew up as a competitive swimmer for 10 years, stopping in 2013. I was a very active kid until then. I had no desire to be active in the 2 years in between. All of a sudden I had a desire to get into strength training, not even knowing what that looked like. I started off doing some at home workouts before I took off to college. Once I was in college I started going to a small gym, and did workouts in the corner of the gym. There is nothing wrong with that, but I lacked confidence when it came to knowing what to do in the gym. Eventually I tried out the squat rack and there my confidence built up and it started to become my happy place to escape. During this time I did not really know myself and was fixated on the way I looked. I loved that I was getting strong, but I would say the most important part to me was the aesthetic side of exercise. My journey continued as I graduated from college and started my journey in Australia. Eventually I realized it became an obsession for me, and I was too concerned about what I would look like if I stopped exercising. So I decided to take a break for a few months, and get back into it when I felt ready. I got back into it, but yet I was still focused on what I could look like instead of loving the way I looked in the present. It wasn’t until I started the journey of motherhood that I learned to love my body no matter what phase of life I was in. Being pregnant and growing as a human has shown me how incredible a woman's body is and to have grace over myself because of the change it was going through. I have never loved my body like the way I do now, and have felt this strong before. Now I get 3 strength training workouts in a week, and it has been the perfect amount for the stage of life I am in right now. I have always had a pretty healthy relationship when it comes to eating food, but I did have a major change in 2019 when I started having some health issues. I started seeing a naturopath and since then it showed me the benefits of what I was consuming and how it was affecting me. I also did a bulking and cutting phase in 2020, which helped me to better understand macronutrients and calorie counting, and showed me the benefit of eating more. Now I listen to my body and do intuitive eating, which I have loved the most. My mental health throughout this time has had its ups and downs. I at one point really struggled with anxiety, which is still something I am aware of but does not consume me anymore. I did go through prenatal depression with both of my pregnancies, which was very challenging, and I still have not fully processed those times. I am doing well mentally now, but of course there are ups and downs as I am still figuring out motherhood. I am in the best place in my healthy and fitness journey and hoping it just continues to get better.  

Pregnancy #1

I thought going into my pregnancy that I was going to be able to workout throughout the entire journey, and be squatting and deadlifting until the day she was born. Things ended up going very differently than that. I found out I was pregnant 4 weeks and 1 day. It started out great, but I did not know what was about to hit me. At 6 weeks, things started to go down hill. The morning sickness began, and if you know it isn’t just in the morning. It started to progress and got to the point where I could not keep anything down including water. I had to be strategic to what I ate, because I knew it would not stay down. It got really bad that I had to go to the hospital because I was in so much pain and malnourished. They diagnosed me with Hyperemisis Gravidarum (HG). HG has different severities. Thankfully it was only brutal for 2.5 weeks, and the morning sickness stopped at 17 weeks. So this completely changed how I was able to workout. I actually stopped working out at 6 weeks, and didn’t start again until 15 weeks pregnant because I did not have enough energy and it would have been too much on my body. When I started working out at 15 weeks I had start from the basics. I had lost a lot of weight, and muscle, so I took things very slow. Overtime I was able to lift more, but of course nothing like I was before pregnancy. I got to the point that I was just happy to get 3-4 workouts in a week, and go for walks. I also did a push prep & Pilates course, which was very helpful and taught me a lot. Around 24 weeks pregnant I started to get really bad tailbone pain, that got worse when I did any glute related exercises. So this started to limit exercises I could do, which was hard because I love a good glute workout. I maintained doing 3 gym workouts, 1 pilates workout, and walks until 36 weeks pregnant, and then I went to a pilates workout and walks after that until I had her at 41 weeks + 5 days. Things went way different than expected, but I learned a lot during that time. I took it slow, and listened to what my body and baby needed most. I may have not been able to do the things I wanted during my pregnancy, but in the end I was just happy to stay active and prepare by body to give birth.

Pregnancy #2

I had hope going into this pregnancy that it would not happen again, but then it did. But this time it was worse. Potentially the reason it was worse was because I was still breastfeeding my first and that I had the babies close together. But we will not exactly know. Again the HG came on at 6 weeks and lasted about 6 weeks and then it started to ease with it being severe for about 4 weeks. I did not leave my bed during this time unless I had to. I lost more weight this time and again got prenatal depression. There were more hospital visits this time around as they were starting to get concerned with how much weight I lost. There were some other “lovely” things that happened to me in this time that I will not go into detail about here. I am open to talking about it in person. Again once I gained the strength back I attempted to start exercising again. This time I did a couple weeks, but then I started to get really bad pelvic and hip pain. I tried to continue to workout because sometimes it can help with the pain but it seemed to make it worse for me. So I stopped exercising until after the baby was born. I was okay with this decision because I needed to listen to my body, and I had a little one to take care of. I was mentally unwell for most of this pregnancy, so it was hard not having that outlet during this time. But I knew it was for a short time and I needed to do what was best for the baby and I. Both of these pregnancies were far from what I expected, but both were so worth it. 

Postpartum after Baby #1: 

I had an amazing vaginal birth with Arabella. I had a second degree tear, and then around 14 weeks postpartum I had to get my tear revised and have surgery to fix that. I healed really well and did not have any other concerns after. Before my 6 week check up to be cleared to exercise again I did some core rehab. Once I was cleared I eased my way back into exercise, and started with 3 strength training workouts a week. I eventually started doing 1 run a week, which was fun because I was not running before pregnancy. I also liked that I was able to take Arabella on the run and be active while having her with me. I continued to progress well with my postpartum journey until I got pregnant again at 10 ish months postpartum. This was a very exciting surprise. 

Postpartum after Baby #2: 

Again I had another amazing vaginal birth with Xena. I had a second degree tear again, and it looked like I tore open the tear revision I had from Arabella. I healed faster this time around. My husband had 3 weeks of paternity leave, so I really soaked up this time to rest and spend time with my newborn because I knew it would go by quickly. I did notice that when I would try to do more that I would have a small setback with my healing, so I made sure to rest so I could do more sooner. Again I started some core rehab before I was cleared at 6 weeks postpartum. This time things looked different because my husband was working fly in fly out I was not able to go to a gym. It took me longer to get back into exercise this time because when I had time to workout I would nap. I knew I needed the rest more because I was on my own and needed to take advantage of that. Around 12 weeks postpartum I started doing at home workouts while arabella napped and Xena chilled next to me. The at home workouts were great, but after a while I realized that I needed something more. I needed that time to get away for an hour and exercise and do that for myself. Of course I love being a mom and being with my kids, but having small moments away to take care of myself makes me a better person and mother. I also love the gym atmosphere and I did not have a lot of equipment at home. The hard part of getting this time was the finances. I needed to have enough for the gym but also for someone to watch my kids. So my dad generously offered to pay for that for me, which was a huge blessing and game changer. I started going to the gym 3 days a week and I noticed a huge impact on my mental health, especially with having my husband away so much. I am now 20 months postpartum and thankfully my hubby is no longer working away. I have really loved this postpartum journey because I made it to the year mark and I really noticed a shift with feeling more like myself prior to having both of my babies. I have no major goals right now other than getting 3 workouts in a week and getting stronger and more fit. In the future I would love to start running again and potentially train for a sprint triathlon. We will see what happens.